The Star of 'Honky Nincompoop! Merman Paramedic!'

Honky Nincompoop was played by Mike Kronik-Bedvetter



Mike Kronik-Bedvetter

Mike was just another young actor paying the rent by parking cars at Hollywood’s top turnip restaurant ‘Mmmmmmm, How You Like Dem Turnips?!’ when he was spotted by legendary talent scout Lizzie Boggle. 

Lizzie Boggle

She plucked him from obscurity to take the leading role in the pilot episode after Duwayne Pimpdaddy, the first choice for the role, died horribly under a tram.

The late Duwayne Pimpdaddy

Legend has it that Mike attracted Lizzie’s attention by parking her car on her date for the night, pop star Mookie Von Bucket (at the time he was Number 1 in the charts with his band the Wazzocks and their hit ‘If You Really Love Me You’ll Push This Up Your Entrance.’



Number 1 Smash Hit!



Interviewed in 2002, just days before her tragic execution at the hands of a Venezuelan Marxist Death Squad, Lizzie said ‘Mike was one of the greatest actors of his generation but, oh my god, he couldn’t park cars for shit.’

Mike went on to become globally famous as ‘HN!  MP!’ was syndicated to over 98 countries and he lived the life of the superstar to the fullest. Travelling by private jet, becoming addicted to prescription tranquilisers and marrying several Hollywood starlets (and on one drunken occasion in Las Vegas, a cross-dressing baboon who had recently appeared in a popular lingerie commercial).

After ‘HN!  MP!’ was cancelled, Mike tried to make a living in the escort industry but the odour of fish that had ingrained itself into his pores during the years he spent playing Honky put a lot of potential clients off.

Mike disappeared in mysterious circumstances during a 1998 uni-cycling holiday in the Dordogne.  

His present whereabouts are unknown.