Title: The Devil's in the Tree Tale!
Opening Scene: Honky has been buried alive in a box filled with salt and razor blades by his newly aquired enemy 'Sandy Perineum, The Man/Crab Hybrid Murderer Man-Crab With The Claws and The Eyes on Stalks', who has sworn to kill Honky because of an argument over who had eaten the last of the whelks during a late night game of Hungry Hippos round at Jeff The Dusky Grouper's house.
Medical Emergency: Surprisingly, the medical emergency in this episode is not connected to the subterranean suffocation but instead revolves around an infestation of ringworm that Honky contracted from a hairbrush he borrowed from a friendly prostitute.
Crime Scene: A firebreathing tree with arms and legs, possessed by the fetid spirit of Beelzebub, has been running amok in shopping centres within a three mile radius of Honky's sea-based living quarters. Thousands of innocent people have been torn limb from limb, incinerated and/or had household utensils jammed up their rear ends. Mass panic has led to an exodus of half a million refugees who are now camped in highly insanitary conditions on the side of a mountain near Rhyll. Cholera, typhoid and the clap are rampant and the death toll is spiralling! Can Honky escape from the box, smash Sandy Perineum in the face, vanquish the Satanic Tree Monster Thing, cure the cholera/typhoid/clap epidemics and return the refugees safely to their homes? Only time will tell!
Domestic Crisis: Honky eats a ready meal Chicken Tikka Masala that is beyond the 'sell by' date, resulting in a terrifying bout of gastroenteritis. There's excrement sprayed all over the curtains and the local dry cleaner is closed, due to the owner currently residing in a refugee camp up a mountain near Rhyll. Will Honky get the kack off his curtains before the Vicar comes to visit? Only time will tell!
Fascinating Fact: The name of the actor who played the firebreathing tree with arms and legs, possessed by the fetid spirit of Beelzebub, was removed from the credits after he died horribly during the wrap party for this episode. The production company refused to take any responsibility for his death at the time, although in a court case in 1989 it was proved beyond doubt that several of their employees had ritually dismembered the actor on a black mass altar and feasted on his flesh. None of the accused were punished for this crime because they were rich, instead a local homeless man was beaten to death by a angry mob.
Favourite Scene: Honky battles the firebreathing tree with arms and legs, possessed by the fetid spirit of Beelzebub, on top of a suspension bridge whilst battling his own 'fetid spirit' in the form of his gastroenteritis. In one of the first examples of breaking the fourth wall in TV history, Honky takes a momentary respite from the violence both inside and outside his body to address his adoring viewers, warning them of the dangers of eating food beyond the expiry date as well as flirting with Satanism, encapsulating this in his legendary advice 'Read the label and the Bible, kids! They are both there to save you from harm!'
Bonus Detail: The special effects in this episode were so convincing that within half an hour of the broadcast over 89% of global tree stocks had been cut down by terrified viewers, convinced that this was the only way to protect themselves, and their rear ends, from Satanic mayhem. It was, and remains to this day, the largest ecological catastrophe in human history.
Have your say! Join the Honky Electronic Chin Wag! Do you remember this episode? Have you ever ritually dismembered anyone? Are you possessed by the fetid spirit of Beelzebub? Do you live near Rhyll? Leave a comment!
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